Urban Outfitters Houses Some Fashion Failures

by Beka

I’ve liked Urban Outfitters since before it became the mecca for the neighborhood hipsters. What’s not to love? Clothes that look hand sewn (quite literally) at slightly higher prices than vintage clothing, but with more sizes? I do own a few pieces I found in the store, and I do on occasion find real winners.

However, from time to time, UO releases, what I lovingly dub, ‘Fashion Failures.’ And this time, they’re a bit less urban and maybe a touch too rural.

For instance, I’m a big fan of the romper. They’re cute, they’re adorable, they’re a shirt and shorts in one! This little number is rather attractive (if you’re size 2!):

But, then, I run across eyesores like this:

And like this:

Please tell me why we’re calling them “onesies.” Women don’t wear onesies. My nephew, Rocco, he wears onesies. But, I’m over 24″ tall, so count me out.

Next!:

If that stick-thin model looks as though she has a tummy pooch, please tell me what I, as a size 8+, will look like in that thing. Impractical, I say!

And finally:

Is it a top, or is it a dress? If what they say is true, and it is indeed a top, what would you wear it with? Overalls? It appears as though it is the handywork of a farmer’s wife, perhaps she is Olivia from The Waltons or Caroline from Little House on the Prairie. One part Pa’s old shirt, two parts Grandma Ingalls’ favorite table cloth.

Seriously, Urban Outfitters? For shame.

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